Disclaimer: Nothing portrayed in these writings is factual. No money is made.

Stix Zadinia was alone in his dressing room fixing his hair and makeup when a nervous looking Michael Starr knocked on the doorframe and walked in.

“Hey, Stix, you got a minute? I needed someone to talk to.”

“Yeah, sure, dude. What’s up?” Michael had better not want to “borrow” some of his blow like the last time. If he’s gonna take more than one line, he’s gotta pay up for that shit. Regardless if Stix had gotten it free in the first place.

“Okay, so I….” Michael paused midsentence to turn and close the door behind him in an air of privacy. Then he sat across from Stix on the one stool that wasn’t covered in clothes or luggage bags. “So I’ve been having these weird feelings about Satchel lately. Like the past few years.”

“The past few years?” Stix repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a little while there, Michael.”

“Yeah, well, it’s weird. It’s like, I’m not gay, but I wanna fuck him, you know? Like a dude fucks a chick, right?”

“…Right. But you’re not gay.”

“Right. But the thing is, it’s not just that. Like, he’s my best friend, dude, you know that. But I don’t just wanna fuck him and be done with it. Like, I wanna kiss him a lot and I wanna fall asleep in his arms, you know?”

“Okay.”

“Don’t tell him I told you this stuff. It’s just like, I don’t know what to do about it. I mean, he’s been working out a hell of a lot and he looks so killer. But what does it mean? Why do I feel this way? I’ve never felt this way about anyone, dude! He makes my stomach turn.”

Stix didn’t even have to think about it.

“You’re in love, dude.”

“What?”

“Yeah. You’re in love with Satchel!”

“Wow. I’ve never been in love before!” Michael exclaimed. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I read about it in a book one time.”

Michael was amused.

“You read a book? Sweet, man!”

“Yeah, I was so fucking high one day that I thought I’d chill out and read one of my mom’s books.”

Michael gave him a fist-pound.

“So, like, what do you think I should do about it?”

“You should talk to him, dude. Tell him how you feel.”

Michael looked sheepish.

“I don’t know if I can….”

“Why not?”

“I dunno. What if he doesn’t feel the same about me? I don’t want him to be mad at me….”

“Why would he be mad? Dude, if anything, you’d just boost his ego.”

Michael’s shoulders sagged.

“So you really think I should tell him?”

“Yeah, dude! What have you got to lose? I think he feels the same way about you, too.”

“Really?” The blonde’s eyes lit up with childlike hope. “Shit! Thanks, Stix! I’ll go tell him right now!”

The singer bounced out of the room in a flurry of shiny scarves and spandex. Stix went back to fixing his eyeliner. He chuckled to himself.

“I always knew those retards were in love.”

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Comment by mama ganoosh - 12/29/11 - 11:21PM

Everything's perfect. This is too cute.

therealtortilla's response: Whee, thanks ^_^