Disclaimer: It doesn't need to be said, but we all know these stories are written for fun, and no one makes money off it, and I'm no differentNotes:
Written as a gift for Shion, as part of 2016's A Very Kinky Rockfic Ficmas Fest. The prompt was 'izzy stradlin, steven adler (guns n roses): impromptu arts and crafts session upon the realisation that christmas decorations are actually seriously fucking expensive .'
Izzy could deal with a tree. The pine needles littering the floor wasn’t too bad of a price to pay for the pleasant smell that floated around the house. Not to mention the look on Steven’s face when he had carried the small-ish tree through the front door. Izzy lived to see that look. Steven was almost always smiling, but he absolutely glowed whenever he was especially happy. Plus, it was also cheap, since it wasn’t the biggest tree. It didn’t matter to Steven. He promptly threw down the book he was reading and bounded towards his boyfriend.
“You sneaky motherfucker! And here I thought you were up to something.” He grinned. Izzy made an effort to grin back, but the tree was heavy, there were pine needles clawing into his hands, the bark hurt to hold, and there was snow melting in his boots.
“I’m glad you like it, but could you maybe give me a hand here?” A switch flipped inside Steven’s brain and he jumped to grab the bottom end of the tree. Together, with only a few pieces of furniture hit, and a few curses muttered, the two of them navigated the tree into the living room, and into the tree stand that Izzy had bought earlier and hidden behind the couch.
This surprise tree had been a long thing coming, but it was worth it. Only once the tree was set up, Izzy could properly sit back and admire the sparkle in Steven’s eyes as he gazed at the tree. Steven was a beautiful man, and the pure joy that emanated from him only made Izzy love him more. So, the tree, he could deal with.
What Izzy couldn’t deal with, however, was Steven’s request once the tree had been set up.
“So, when are we gonna decorate this thing?” Izzy’s face fell. Right… decorations.
“As soon as we go out and buy decorations.” He said, sheepishly scratching his head. Steven shrugged, still smiling.
“Oh, well. That just means I can help pick them out.”
“Or I can help you glare.” Steven pouted, looking at the selection of Christmas decorations. Izzy was in the process of picking up all the decorations on the shelf, and putting them back when he saw the price. Who knew decorations were so fucking expensive? Hell, even the tinsel cost more than it was really worth, considering it was only a string of sparkly plastic.
Izzy shook his head in disgust and grasped Steven’s hand, gently pulling him away from the shelf of over-priced consumerism.
“What are we gonna do, Izz?” He asked, gently nuzzling Izzy’s arm as they walked out of the store. Izzy looked down into Steven’s blue eyes and noticed the sparkle had dimmed. Dammit. He had to come up with something quick.
“I- I don’t really know, Stevie.” He admitted, guiltily.
“I guess we could always-”
“Make our own?” Steven suggested, cutting Izzy off. Izzy opened his mouth, but promptly shut it. Steven’s idea was much better than what he was about to say, of just going with a few dime store balls and star. He smiled warmly at the excitable blonde.
“Believe it or not, Popcorn, but that isn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had.” Steven giggled and placed a light kiss on Izzy’s cheek.
“Then tell me, what was the worst idea I’ve ever had?” He asked, innocently. Izzy placed his gloved hands on either side of Steven’s face and kissed him delicately, not caring if anyone saw.
“Dating me.” Steven rolled his eyes and shrugged away from Izzy’s hands. The two continued walking back towards their apartment, holding hands, and just being happy in each other’s company. The disgusted looks from passers-by just drew them closer together, as they engaged in their couple’s tradition of flipping off anyone who gave them a disgusted look. They had almost reached their apartment when Steven stopped walking and tugged on Izzy’s sleeve a little.
“Say, Izz, if we’re not going to buy any decorations, does that mean we’ve got the cash for something else?” He asked, pointing at a little shop they were about to pass. Izzy lifted an eyebrow.
“What did you have in mind?”
It took every ounce of willpower Izzy had to not kiss Steven when he came out of the store with his small purchase: a velvety red hat with an enormous fluffy white pom pom and trim around the bottom. He eagerly adorned it, and made the pom pom fall into his eyes. Izzy leaned back on his heel and nibbled on his little finger, chuckling at his goofy little Popcorn.
“What do you think?” Steven asked, flipping the pom pom to the back of his head.
“Worth every cent.” Izzy assured. Steven smiled even wider, if such a thing was possible, and Izzy saw the sparkle re-light in his eyes.
The two reentered their apartment shortly afterwards, and Steven took off running. For where, Izzy didn’t know. His internal questions were answered when Steven came running back, his arms full of a whole bunch of… junk. Random, bizarre junk he had never seen before. He dumped it on the small card table that they had been using as a kitchen table and took off to another room.
Izzy looked at the random pieces curiously, and picked up a bit of glass. It looked like the bottom of a bottle, but why would Steven bring a broken bottle to the kitchen? After pondering for a moment, a lightbulb turned on in Izzy’s brain.
“Steven, this wouldn’t happen to be-”
“Things to decorate with. I figure we can use pretty much anything to decorate with if we put our minds to it.” He explained, dumping another armload of crap on the table.
“And how do you figure that we can use a broken bottle as a decoration?” Steven rolled his eyes at his obviously clueless boyfriend and snatched away the bottle bottom.
“Like this, genius.” He riffled through the assorted crap and pulled out a glue gun. He dabbed a little on the back of the glass and walked over to the tree. Steven looked towards the top of the tree, an eyebrow raised at it. The blonde bent his knees a little and made a leap for the top of the tree. Izzy grimaced at the sight of his boyfriend grasping at the piney branches and trying to slap the piece of broken glass to the top.
“Almost got it, almost got it.” Steven groaned. “Nope, no I don’t.” He whimpered, falling down the branches of the tall tree.
“Are you okay?” Izzy asked, trying desperately not to smile at the attempted makeshift star. Steven stood from his spot on the floor and brushed of the needles that had attached themselves to him, glaring at Izzy.
“A little help?” He asked, crossing his arms. Izzy allowed himself to smile as he went over to give Steven a lift. He planted his hands on Steven’s hips and hoisted him up another couple of feet.
“Can you get me any higher, Izz?” Steven asked, looking down.
“Not without a joint.” Izzy muttered, trying to raise his boyfriend up a little higher. Steven chuckled and slapped the makeshift star onto the top of the tree.
“Got it. You can let me down now.” As soon as Steven’s feet were on the ground, he took off running for the table piled with a mountain of crap. He started shovelling through the pile, then noticed that Izzy hadn’t moved from his spot.
“What are you waiting for? We’ve got decorating to do, Stradlin!” He exclaimed, gesturing towards the table.
“What exactly do you expect me to do?” Izzy asked, approaching the table, cautiously. Steven rolled his eyes.
“Take some crap, stick it to other crap, and put it somewhere to look pretty.” He explained.
“And how do you presume I make crap look pretty?”
“C’mon, Izzy; you’re creative, just try something. And if all else fails…” Steven scanned the table quickly and plucked an item off it. “Anything looks pretty with enough glitter.” He grinned. Steven turned to his various odds and ends and started tinkering around with them, sticking bits and bobs together. Izzy, meanwhile, was staring at the trinkets, his mind completely blank. None of it looked suitable to decorate anything. It seemed more like it should have been thrown out months ago.
“Steve, I’ve got nothing.” He admitted, throwing his hands up.
“Just put glitter on something. It’ll be adorable.” Steven said, not looking up from his bizarre concoction. Without warning, Izzy blew a pinch of glitter into Steven’s face.
“There, now you’re twice as adorable.” He grinned. Steven blinked in shock and wiped the sparkles from his eyes.
“Oh, it is ON, MOTHERFUCKER!” He yelled, dumping glitter onto his hand and throwing it at Izzy. Izzy calmly wiped the pink glitter from his eyes and glared at Steven.
“Is that the best you can do? Is that REALLY the best you can do, Popcorn?” He swiped the bottle of glitter from his boyfriend and dumped the rest of the contents on his head. Izzy wiped his hands together and smirked.
“That, my friend, is how you have a glitter war.” Steven pouted and stalked out of the room.
Admittedly, decorating with junk wasn’t as fun without Steven. Izzy had turned back to the scrap pile and had created a few bauble-type doodads in his absence, and was starting to wonder where exactly his boyfriend had gone to sulk.
His questions were answered moments later when Steven re-appeared, hat-less, but was wearing a new sort of get-up. He had a bandolier slung across his bare chest, and looked like he had come to fight a war. Izzy’s heart sunk when he realised that that was exactly what he had come to do. The bandolier was filled with little jars of rainbow-colored glitter.
“You want a war, you bastard? You’ve got one!” Steven yelled, removing two of the jars of glitter, opening and launching them at Izzy. They exploded around his face in little puffs, causing Izzy to cough.
“Where the hell do you get all this glitter?” He asked, between coughs.
“I know a guy.” Steven smirked, removing another little jar from his bandolier. Izzy’s eyes widened, and he ducked, narrowly evading the incoming glitter bomb.
A bandolier and two full jars of glitter later, the two lovebirds were essentially passed out on the couch, colored with every shade of glitter in the rainbow.
“Is there anymore glitter?” Steven yawned.
“Fuck, I hope not.” Izzy sighed, wiping more glitter off his person.
“Not to fight with; to decorate with. All we have is a bottle bottom glued to the top of the tree, and glitter all over the floor.” He protested, sitting up.
“Steve, I’m going to be honest with you,” Izzy started, sitting up. “It doesn’t matter to me whether the tree is decorated or not. What matters to me is you. If you’re happy, I’m happy. If you want the tree decorated, then by God, this tree will be decorated!”
Izzy leaped up from his position on the couch and leaped onto the tree, rubbing himself all over the branches. Steven’s jaw dropped when he realized what Izzy was actually doing: glittering the tree. After sufficiently ridding himself of the sparkles, Izzy backed off the tree, a slight grimace on his face.
“And I did that, because I know how much you really want a christmas tree.” Steven stood up, a goofy grin on his face.
“I can’t believe you love me enough to rub yourself on a pine tree for me.” He giggled. Izzy shrugged.
“Call it love, call it stupidity, it’s the same thing in the long run.” Steven stood on his tiptoes and placed a light kiss on Izzy’s lips.
“I am stupidly in love with you, Izz.”
“Good to know; now can you take these pine needles out of me?”
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Glitter wars, "I know a guy,", "not without a joint," and Izzy using himself to decorate the tree. I LOVED IT!
Sparkly Izzy is quite possibly the best thing to picture on Christmas day.
The image of Izzy covered in glitter and smelling of pine tree after the tree rub episode is exceptionally enthralling on Christmas day!