Disclaimer: This is a work of FICTION. While the characters may be based on the public personas of real celebs, the story itself is completely untrue. It was written for the entertainment and completely without the band's involvement or permission.

Notes:

Written as a gift for heavvymetalqueen, as part of 2011's A Very Kinky Rockfic Ficmas Fest. The prompt was 'Janne Wirman,Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom): Fallen into lake Bodom (or any lake, really) and about to freeze to death, the boys need to warm up... .'

“You can make it,” Alexi said, his jaw muscles rigid with the effort of keeping his teeth from chattering. Janne’s were chattering loudly in his ear. They were halfway up the stairs, and if Janne’s increasingly heavy weight didn’t pull them both backwards down the staircase, they might actually make it into the warm apartment.

“I g-g-guess tttttthathathat wasnnnt a verry bright id-id-idea,” Janne managed, his voice like a thin, airy reed.

“Not one of our b-b-b-better ones, no.” He grabbed hold of the last foot of the bannister and hauled them both up the final two steps, onto the landing, at which point they swayed precariously for a second longer than he’d have liked, and then they he had their balance under them. He quick-shuffled Janne up the dim hall, lit only by the cold blue afternoon light coming through the window at the far end.

“Here we are,” he said at his door. He patted his pockets for keys, but soaking wet and cold, it was impossible to just slip a hand in and pull them out. So he leaned Janne against the wall, shaking—vibrating like a forlorn sex toy—propped his hip against him to keep him from sliding away, and then dug in his pocket in earnest.

Once he had the door open, he grabbed Janne again, shoulder under armpit, arm across back, hand grabbing his side, and pulled him inside.

“Sh-shower,” Alexi said, and dragged Janne straight for the bathroom. “G-get out of your clothes, okay?” He cranked on the water—full hot—and fought with his heavy, sodden, soaking coat to get it to release him. When he turned, Janne’s fingers were still trying to work the zipper down the front of his. He was shaking so much, and his frozen fingers were so clumsy, that he kept losing hold of the pull after getting it no more than an inch or two down its track at a time.

Alexi grasped the pull and yanked it down. He pried the coat open and off Janne’s shoulders and arms, then kicked it out of the way. “Arms up,” he said said softly, grasping at the back of Janne’s t-shirt. His hands brushed skin all the way up Janne’s back—not a hint of warmth in it. Stepping back with Janne’s sopping black shirt in his hand, he got a good look at his bandmate. Cold almost to the point of blue. In some places—lips, fingernails—he was a dusky purplish blue. Alexi clucked and shook his head.

Behind him, he could feel wafts of steam from the running shower. “Shoes,” he said to Janne, pointing at them, just before he turned to adjust the taps. When he turned back, Janne was dropping himself ungracefully on the toilet seat. Alexi grabbed a foot and began to work the stiff, frozen laces on the sneaker. He cursed under his breath.

He looked at the shower, then back at Janne, who was starting to tilt to one side.

“Fuck it,” he said. “We’ll get them off later. Come on.” He pulled Janne to his feet, into his arms, and helped him into the shower.

As the water hit him, Janne sucked in his breath loudly. “Fuck. Ouch.” He pushed to get out of the stream.

Alexi pushed back. “Give it a minute.”

Janne, his face screwed up, pushed forward again.

“Half a minute.” Alexi pushed him back and held him, gritting his teeth against the first feelings of feeling coming back into his own body parts.

Pretty stupid to fuck around on an icy pier, he thought. His jury was still out on how stupid it was to try to haul Janne out of the frigid lake while crouching on an icy pier. It might have been faster for Janne to just swim/walk to shore in the first place—which is what they’d both done after Alexi had fallen in, too. So his heroics were only wasted time.

“Better now?” he asked, Janne’s body still shivering violently against him. The water was very warm, but where Alexi’s fingers touched on Janne’s back, he still felt ghastly cold. He slipped both arms around and covered as much skin as he could with them.

“Sh-sh-shirt’s c-cold,” Alexi said.

“Shit. Sorry.” He untangled himself and stepped back enough to peel his shirt off of him and toss it out to the bathroom floor. His jeans were cold, too. And heavy. Heavy as fuck. He propped himself against the wall to get his sneakers off, then his jeans, then his underwear.

Janne stood in the water with his arms tightly crossed, his shoulders hunched, and his head down. The water—either the lake or the shower or both—had turned his hair dark, and it streamed off the pointed ends of it and into the swirl on the shower floor.

“You now?” Alexi asked him.

With a jerk of his head, he nodded, and they moved to switch places.

As Alexi dropped to a crouch, Janne started to lean back against the wall—then he hissed and pulled up straight again.

“Cold tiles, huh?”

“F-fuck yeah.” His teeth went tap-tap tappity tap-tap tap

On one knee, Alexi worked the laces of one sneaker and then the other lose. Janne grabbed onto his shoulder to keep from falling as Alexi pulled one, then the other, free of his feet. He stood up and brought his attention to Janne’s fly. “This is the first time I’ve undressed another guy,” he said with a grin. He looked up. “I wish it were better circumstances.”

Taptaptap. “I wish everything were better circumstances right now.” Tappitytap.

“You’ll be good in no time. After this, we’ll crank up the heat, pile under every blanket I own, and drink vodka till we pass out.”

Taptaptaptaptaptap. “‘kay.”

Alexi worked Janne’s jeans down his pale, cold thighs, over his knees down his calves, and then Janne used his shoulder for support again to lift first one foot and then the other. And then, on his own, Janne pushed his underwear off and stepped away from them. Into the stream of very warm water, his face tilted upward, eye closed, hands pushing his hair back from his face.

Alexi felt his teeth threatening to chatter again. As he stood there on the tiles, shifting from foot to foot, he said, “Is there room under there for two?”

“Yes! What are you waiting for?” Janne moved a few inches out of the way.

Alexi, his arms crossed tightly against him, stepped up next to Janne. Warmth splashed against his chest and arms. A shiver coursed through him and he hugged himself tighter—and pushed closer. This wasn’t good enough. His arms were taking up valuable room. He dropped them long enough to pull himself up against Janne’s back and cross his arms again, this time over Janne’s soft belly. He rested his forehead against the back of Janne’s shoulder.

Janne had warmed to the point of being an erratic vibrator with a slowly dying battery. He would be fine for a few seconds, and then vibrate in Alexi’s arms.

“Thank god for hot water,” Alexi said, though really his backside was exposed to the air, and his front side was pressed against Janne’s finally warming backside. Only his arms were getting the full benefit of the shower.

“It’s a life saver.” And then Janne said, “Thank you for trying to help me out back there.”

“What else was I going to do?”

Janne started to shift in his arms, and Alexi realized he meant to turn around—while losing as little skin-to-skin contact as possible. Before he knew it, he was chest to chest with Janne—limp cold dick to limp warmish dick. His hands were on Janne’s back, and Janne’s hands were on his.

“You didn’t have to go and turn yourself into a drowned rat for me, though,” Janne said.

“That wasn’t on purpose.”

Janne laughed. And then a shiver shook through him. It sobered Alexi a little, who said, “We could have lost you out there.”

“Me? No. I’m a lot harder than that to get rid.”

After another racking shiver, Janne laughed and corrected himself: “Well, maybe only a little harder to get rid of.”

Alexi laughed against Janne’s throat.

The flat of Janne’s hand rubbed warm circles into Alexi’s back.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to make it back here,” Janne said.

“I wasn’t sure we were either.” Alexi tipped his eyes up.

They looked at each other for a moment that seemed to go on and on as water pattered against the tiles and swirled down the drain.

Alexi lifted up and gave him a kiss on the lips, closed-mouthed, and Janne kissed back.

But then it lingered.

Then their lips parted, just the slightest.

Then Alexi felt the lightest exploration of tongue—

—and then Janne yelped and jumped to the side, pulling Alexi half around, too, and the suddenly cold water splashed all over him, causing him to yelp as well. The real injustice was that the taps sat on the other side of the cascade of freezing water.

“We ran it out,” Janne said, shivering and hugging himself.

The faucet squeaked as Alexi cranked it off. Shivering himself, he stepped out and reached for towels, one for him, one for Janne.

Janne, rubbing himself dry, said, “I heard something about blankets and vodka earlier?”

Alexi stopped shivering long enough to grin.

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Comment by navigatorsghost - 10/08/12 - 04:15PM

...and of course that's exactly when the hot water WOULD run out, because those boys have that kind of karma. *dying laughing* Any chance of a sequel? Please? I loved this - just serious enough to be heartwarming but still with that authentic CoB sense of fun lurking underneath... <3

ScrewTheDaisies's response: Thank you. :D :D

Comment by heavvymetalqueen - 12/25/11 - 02:43AM

I love how you describe things. Janne "vibrating like a forlorn sex toy" is the best image ever. And I love the hot and the cold, and undressing under the shower...and lingering kisses. Mmm. Thank you! I so wasn't expecting a Bodom wish to be filled and it was one hell of a surprise! :D

ScrewTheDaisies's response: :D It was a surprise for me, too--surprise at how easily the story came together. I had a good time writing new characters. I wish they were all so compliant!

Comment by rdyfrde - 12/25/11 - 02:14AM

For your first foray into Bodom fic, you did a great job with the characters. And it was steamy too :)

ScrewTheDaisies's response: Thank you! I read a few interviews and dove in, and I really enjoyed spending some time with brand new (to me) characters.