Disclaimer: Bands: Metallica Type: Hetero. Pairing: James/OFC. Warnings: Sex, swearing, and some violence. Disclaimer: All events are entirely fictional.

X. Fade to black...


(Kirk's POV)

Me, Lars and Jason were waiting for James to start our rehearsal. The last show on this tour was about to start and James was late. He was quiet on the bus and didn't come out of his hotel room after we arrived. I tried to talk to him, but he just told me to fuck off.

“That the fock is keeping him?” Lars threw his drumstick into the air and caught it behind his back.

“Dunno... he's never late, you're the one we usually wait for.” I was picking at my guitar.

James walked in, kicking the door open, and went straight for his guitar. No 'hey guys,' not one word. Lars sat down and smirked.

“Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I'm in a shitty mood, don't fucking start with me.” James snapped back, not even turning his head in our direction.

“So no one can focking talk just cause you're all pissy?” Lars replied.

“I told you not to fucking start, Ulrich!” James grit out through clenched teeth, but the obvious warning in his tone didn't stop Lars.

“Fock that! I'm sick of having to tip-toe around you whenever the Mighty Hetfield throws a hissy fit, so just suck it up, because we have a fucking show to do.”

James had been glaring at the drummer as he spoke, and when he'd heard enough, he turned on his heel and walked out the door, slamming it behind himself with enough force to shake the wall.

“Dammit Lars! Why do you always have to do that?” I put my guitar down and followed James. I found him just as he was walking down the corridor.

“James wait!” I tried to catch up with his long legs.

“Fuck off Hamster!” He walked into the break room and dropped onto the couch.

“James...what's wrong?” I sat by him.

“Nothing...” He turned his head away from me.

“Look, I know you miss your family, but you'll see them soon! Angel's coming to see you tomorrow!” I put my hand on James' shoulder and he turned to me with a sigh.

“That's the thing Kirk... I'm not sure she is coming...”

“Why? Have her plans changed?”

“Last night... I got drunk and I fucked some groupie... I told Angel about it and....”

“Why!? Are you fucking crazy? Why did you tell her?” I stared at him and he shook his head.

“I freaked out when she called... and... I don't fucking know... it just came out....”

“What did she say?”

“She hung up on me...”

“Oh.. fuck... I'm sorry men..”

----------

Through the whole show James was in a bad mood, Lars tried to pick at him again, and it just made everything worse. But there is one thing I knew about James, he would play in full throttle for the fans, no matter how bad he feels, or how wasted he is. On stage he always gave all of him.

The last song was over, we said our goodbyes and started heading off the stage when one of the roadies ran up to James and whispered something in his ear. I saw James' face change, he grip to the roadies' shoulders pushing him back.

“No!” His rocking voice roared over the suddenly quiet crowd. His face turned white as he dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

Jason and I both ran to him. “James! What's wrong?”

He was just shaking his head and it took us both to pull him off the stage.

Lars was talking with the roadie, he looked shocked, holding his hand to his lips. We got James backstage and sat him on the couch. He didn't say a word, just stared ahead blankly, with tears rolling over his cheeks. I had never seen him in this state, all I knew, something horrible had happened.

Lars walked in looked at us, then at James and swallowed. “James... I'm sorry man... it's focking awful... I... fock...”

James dropped his head into his hands, his shoulders shook in silent cry. Jason and I jumped to Lars.

“What the fuck happened?”

“There was accident... oil rig hit Iron Maiden's touring bus... there was an explosion... and... they said no one survive...” Lars finished with tears in his eyes and I felt chills crawling on my skin.

“Fuck...” I felt my voice shake and tried to swallow growing lump in my throat.

“No...” Jason gripped his forehead, rubbing it. His eyes met mine and he turned away, hitting the wall with his fists. “No!”



“Look guys, you take James to his room... I'll try to find out more... maybe the band wasn't on the bus.... just watch James, don't leave him alone... he shouldn't be alone right now.... shit...I can't believe this...” He walked out of the break room, nervously twisting his towel in his hands.

It took us a few minutes to get James into the car, he was moving on autopilot, and looked absolutely lifeless. I didn't know what to say to him, all I could do is hold his arm. What do you supposed to say to a guy who just lost someone he loved so deeply? No words would ever be able to express the pain I felt for him. Jason was quiet too, his lips were tightly pressed as if he tried to hold his emotions inside, his hands were nervously moving on his thighs, then gripped into fists. The short silent drive to the hotel and we arrived at James' room. He dropped on edge of the bed and we just sat down by him, feeling absolutely helpless.

The phone ringing sounded too loud in the dead room and made me jump, James didn't move, didn't even blink. Jason quickly stood up and grabbed it.

“This is Jason... What?” His face turned red. “Fucking vultures! Don't call here!” He ripped phone out of outlet, breathing heavily, then threw it on the table and walked to the window, pulling the curtains close.


(James' POV)

My body had completely shut down, only my mind was pulsating in the listless shell, repeating like mantra. It can't be.... she can't leave me like that... it's not true... it's not true.... it can't be true... not my Angel... no... no... it's not true...

Someone placed a cup in my numb hand and I automatically drank it without tasting. Despite all my friends around me and felt painfully alone. I felt trapped in a nightmare with no escape, I wanted to just wake up and make all of this go away. Just wake up... I blinked my eyes, sending another wave of tears running on my cheeks. Wake up... wake up... Angel.... please... wake me up from this horror...

Lars' face appeared out of nowhere in front of me, his lips moved as if he was talking, but I couldn't comprehend anything he said. His smiling face was so out of place in my nightmare and I closed my eyes. Just live me alone... just leave me.... I'm dead... He shook me by the shoulder screaming right into my face.

“James! Do you hear me? James! She's alive! Angel is okay! The band wasn't on that bus! They're all fine! James!”

The meaning of his words slowly sunk into my derailed mind and I looked at him as he repeated words, that pulsated through me, bringing my heart back to life.

“Angel is alive?” I jumped to my feet, picking my friend up. “She's alive!”

He laughed and pulled out of my arms, grabbing to the bottle of water.

“I called everyone... finally got to Bruce. They're all fine and Angel's plane landed here about twenty minutes ago. Her phone is dead, she lost her focking charger... I've tried calling you, but your focking phone is off too!”

“She's here? Where?” I run to the door, but Lars pulled on my arm, stopping me.

“Don't go, you'll miss each other on the way!” He downed bottle of water, and wiped his mouth, reaching for the second drink. “My throat's so dry... I was on the focking phone for two and a half hours, talked to everyone...trying to find out... the bus had some engine problems earlier that day and when they loaded in, it started to make some focking noise, so they decided to take a hotel shuttle instead... the only person on the focking bus was a driver and he is fine, he got thrown out by the blast, got some broken bones, but he's fine...” He sucked in another bottle.

“Lars... thank you! All of you guys! Thank you!” I pulled my friends into a tight hug, feeling absolutely happy.

“Thank God...” Kirk whispered, and I notice his eyes were reddened. Jason smiled and then his eyes drifted to the door, lips parted with gasp. I let go of them and abruptly turned to see the best sight I've ever seen. My Angel was standing in the doorway.

“Baby!” I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her face and hair, breathing in her smell. “Promise to never scare me like that again...”

“I missed you James! I missed you so much! My phone is dead, I lost my charger...I tried to call you from airport... but your phone was off. I called Mom and she told me what she saw on the news... I tried to call you, to tell you I'm okay... I couldn't reach you...” She was kissing my face, stroking my hair. Her amazing green gaze overwhelmed with love, and I felt warmth filling my body, erasing the remains of my nightmare.

“Glad to see you okay!” Kirk came over and tried to gave her a hug.

“Hey guys!” She turned to greet my friends, but I didn't let her go out of my arms.

“That was focking nerve-racking!” Lars embrace all three of us, reaching up to kiss Angel's cheek.

“I'm glad you're okay!”Jason stood, grinning from ear to ear.

Lars pulled out of the hug and tugged on Kirk's arm, winking at Jason.

“I think we can leave now... I feel focking exhausted... all this... fock... I need a drink or two. C'mon guys... before James gets back to his normal self and kicks us out, lets go!”

They walked out of the room and Lars stopped for a minute in the doorway.

“I'm glad to see you focking smiling again man...” He winked at me and flashed “Do not disturb” door sign, hanging it on the outside of the door handle, then slowly pressed door shut.

Angel smiled, pulling me to her lips.

“I miss your smile and your lips...”

I felt her body pressed tighter against mine, and happiness of seeing my wife alive, after I thought I lost her, turned into happiness of having my wife in my arms, after months of being apart. Our kiss deepened, bringing desire, hands searched over the bodies, needing more, urging.

“Oh... baby...” I pulled away from her lips, picking her into my arms and dropping her on the bed. She yanked her shirt off, kissing my chest, pulling me closer and blood in my veins reached boiling point as we both moaned hungrily for each other.

We unlocked our lips just long enough to get rid of my tee and her bra and her nipples brushed on my chest, hardening against my skin. A loud growl escaped my throat.

“Oh God... It's been so long...” I slid my hands up her slender waist and surrounded both breasts, slowly rubbing her nipples with the pads of my thumbs. Angel purred.

“Mnnn... baby...”

My lips meet on her nipple and she moaned as I sucked the tip into my mouth. She pushed her body up, enjoying my touch and then pulled my face up. Lusty flares were dancing in her eyes.

“Baby... it's so nice... but right now I need less foreplay, more fuck. I miss you so much, we can play softly for the round four.” She arched into my body moving her hands around my neck and pulling on my hair.

“And five and six... and all night and all day...” I breathed out as my hands impatiently unbuttoned her jeans. I couldn't wait. Why are the fucking clothes always in the way?

I parted my lips from her breast so I could pull her pants off as quick as I could, kicking off my jeans at same time. She watched my frantic movements with a smile and I laughed.

“I didn't rip anything... I think...“

She ran her palms from my stomach to my back and pulled me closer, kissing my neck. When her hands moved lower and met on my leaking cock, she gasped.

“Fuck me baby...” She lay back, pulling me on top of her and wrapped her legs around my waist. That move brought all the blood to my pulsating shaft and it hardened even more, threatening to burst. I felt her teeth sinking into my skin, bringing a growl from me.

“Mmnnn...you're the only one who can drive me crazy like that....” I moaned into her ear, ramming inside of her in one fast and deep thrust.

We both shuddered feeling our flesh interlock. My body jerked, diving into unstoppable urge, moving in and out of her. Room filled with moans and gasps... bodies slam together, moving in unison. Our breathing became fast and shallow, with each thrust the pace increased, pushing to the much needed release.

“Oh... Angel, baby...” I moaned against her neck.

I could no longer resist the increasing tension, her wriggling against me, her sighs, her legs pulling me deeper into her. Her breathing was fast and hard and came out in punctuated gasps. With one final thrust, I exploded inside her with low growl.

“Oh.. fuck...”

“James...” Angel convulsed into a chain of explosions, clenching in spasms that squeezed and milked my cock dry, making me shudder in multiple aftershocks. When out bodies stopped I dropped on top of her, dazed and motionless but still deep inside of her, catching my breath.

“I love you....” I whispered into her ear, her hands were sliding over my back, sending warm shivers through my body.

“I love you too, James... God I missed you... promise we'll never be apart for that long ever again... it was unbearable...” She swept my hair away from my face.

I braced my body on my elbows, lifting my weight off her small frame.

“I promise... and you promise you'll never leave me... when I thought I lost you... it was horrible... I never want to feel that again...” The cold hand of memory of that evening grasped at my throat and I unwillingly pulled out of her, rolling onto my back.

She turned to me and propped her head up on her arm, stroking my chest with her fingers.

“James... I'll try to be more organized... if I would've kept my phone charged... the fucking thing died in the middle of out last conversation, I didn't have a chance to tell you, that we're taking a shuttle instead.”

In the middle of our last conver-- I felt a cold wave taking my body and my heart skipped.

“When did your phone die?”

“When you tried to tell me why you felt sad and all I heard was just that you fucked up...I tried to tell you that I couldn't hear you...but I think we'd already got disconnected...” She lay her head on my chest, moving her hand to my stomach. And I felt my guts turning into a knot. Shit.... fuck.... I forgot about that... Another cold flash ran through my body... she doesn't know. My brain started racing... Don't be a fucking idiot this time! She doesn't need to know! Let it be on your conscious! You the one who fucked up, you pay for it with gilt, don't tell her, you can't hurt her like this!

She picked her head off my chest.

“I tried to call you back from hotel phone, but your phone was busy, I figured you were calling me. I tried calling you from airport, and still got a busy signal... then I got on the plane... I'm sorry... so... what did you fucked up?” She traced kisses over on my chest and looked into my eyes, sliding her hand lower on my stomach.

“I tried to tell you... that... I got drunk and... that was it... I got really really drunk..” I sat up in bed and rubbed my face with my hands, feeling the words were getting stuck in my throat, I swallowed nervously and she moved closer to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“James. What happened?” She looked into my eyes and I looked away, unable to hold her gaze. I felt ashamed, afraid, I felt like the worst fucking piece of shit on this planet, but I decided not to tell her the truth. She doesn't need to know... I took a deep breath and breathed out.

“Nothing... it's not important now...”

She turned my head to her, green eyes deepen into mine and I felt them reaching all the way to my heart.

“James... did you... fucked someone?”

My stomach twisted, heart skipped and dropped down, palms got wet and pulsating thought drowned in her eyes, letting my lips release a weak plea.

“Angel... I... please don't leave me....” My voice came out as a whisper. Her eyes turned cold, she let go of me, dropping back onto the bed.

“You hurt me...”

I turned and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Baby... I'm... so... sorry... I...” I wrapped my arms around her, pulling closer in attempt to stop this moment. She sighed and ran her fingers through my hair.

“You hurt me by thinking that I would leave you, just because you screwed some eager slut... do you really think that my love for you so shallow?”

She grasped my face with both hands and kissed my lips.

“You're just a man, men make mistakes... I'm not with you every day... we haven't seen each other in months... I know how it is, I see it all the time with my guys. Never ending temptation... girls trow themselves at them... plus, you probably already punished yourself, making yourself crazy with guilt.”

Her eyes were looking softly at me and I sighed in relief. Dear God... she is an Angel... the one and only... who truly understands me...

“I don't deserve you...” I signed and lowered my face to hers.

She smiled pulling me for a kiss and whispered. “Too bad, because you got me and you're not getting rid of me that easy...”

Save to Diigo     Bookmark on Delicious