It's sweet and short, I like it.
So sad it's done... —saulhudson, for Rubicon's Faded Memories
I really do like the secondary characters in this story. They're not there as window dressing and really do help the story to feel real. And you've caught the adrenaline of what could happen really well too. Keep going! I love it! —midnight_moonlight, for Steele Dreams's This Is The Way The World Ends (Threnody in the Key of B)
Seriously, write a book. :D (Unless you already have?) I loved this chapter. The tension, the dialogue, the humour, THE DAVE... Perfect. And like Augustine, I liked the meta here. It can easily ruin a story if not used right, but you've written it more than well. —Roverandom, for Nexus's Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles